


Reason #23423 Kol has for wanting to divorce his family

by ywhiterain



Series: That's Princess Hope Andrea Mikaelson to you, Pleb [2]
Category: The Originals (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, klaus being ridiculous, save kol from his family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:28:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26506726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ywhiterain/pseuds/ywhiterain
Summary: Hope got a C on a low stakes homework assignment and Klaus and Elijah are not taking it well. Kol suffers through his big brothers arguing about what they need to do handle this non-issue.
Relationships: Davina Claire/Kol Mikaelson, Hope Mikaelson & Her Ridiculous Murderous Family, Kol Mikaelson & Elijah Mikaelson & Klaus Mikaelson
Series: That's Princess Hope Andrea Mikaelson to you, Pleb [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1927069
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	Reason #23423 Kol has for wanting to divorce his family

"This is absurd!" Klaus declared with the kind of rage that tended to be reserved for politics and religion - so Kol supposed it was probably just another day for one, Niklaus Mikaelson, the Originals Hybrid that haunts the nightmares of every creature in existence. "If not for the decree I've set to limit murder only when absolutely necessary - "

Okay. No. "That was Hayley," Kol said, "and I'm still cross that you unilaterally agreed we'd all abide by it without bothering to ask."

"I don't even see why you keep bringing that up," Klaus said and walked over to Kol to flick him on the head like the asshole he was. "You'll behave as long as Davina is around."

"That's not even the point," Kol snapped, standing up. "It's that - "

"I don't care to hear your complaints," Klaus said, waving his hand aside like Kol was still six and too little to join in sword fighting practice, even though everyone but Father knew Klaus and Elijah were teaching Rebekah the ways of the sword. (Rebekah, who was younger than him, mind you. Rebekah, who was just out of toddler hood, but apparently mature enough to handle what Kol could not. And Elijah could _say_ he was staring Rebekah early because of extraneous circumstances and if Kol was too young to understand that he was too young to know the blade, but Kol just **knew** if he'd been born a girl he would have waited until he was twenty-one, at least, before his brothers would teach him anything.)

"And what makes you think I'd care to hear about yours?" Kol said, folding his arms and thinking about how great it would be to stab him with one of Elijah's stupid antique forks.

"It's about _Hope_ ," Klaus said. He looked pompous and stupid and Kol wanted to strangle him for having the ultimate trump card. 

Before Kol could come up with a retort, Elijah strode an extra bit of self-righteousness in his steps. Either he knew something was amiss with his beloved niece via some sort of sixth sense or he was in the mood to dole out a lecture; both were equally valid possibilities. 

"If you two must fight, I'm going to have to ask you to move it outside," Elijah told them.

Kol flopped back down on the couch and folded his arms. "Last I checked, this house was still in Marcel's name so you don't have the authority to kick us out. It would bad manners, Elijah, and we don't want to set a bad example for our little niece."

Just like Klaus, Elijah waved off Kol's legitimate point (as usual). "That's only a technicality. Freya is able to do a few protection spells if the house isn't in our name." He looked down at Kol and gave him a disappointed frown. "However, the details of home ownership is not the point here. However, I am pleased you've retained knowledge of basic decorum, even if you rarely actually apply it to your behavior."

"Why are you getting onto me," Kol said (and he was not pouting), "Klaus started it."

"Almost certainly," Elijah said and Kol thought, maybe, for a brief moment of bliss, that Elijah was actually going to take his side and stand up for him.

But then Klaus started yapping again.

"I resent that implication against my character," Klaus said, "and while I would normally be more than willing to state my case, we are currently in a crisis." He held up a piece of paper covered in crayon scribbles and pointed at the big 'C' on the top left handed side. "Mrs. Clover is attempting to undermine Hope's achievements, destroy her self-esteem, and leave her with crippling self-doubt for the rest of her very long life."

"Mrs. Clover?" Kol said as Elijah grabbed the paper, frown on his face. 

"Janet," Klaus said with a gleam in his eyes that meant he was about to murder someone, "Janet Clover is currently enemy number one of our family."

Kol stared at him.

"Hope's second grade teacher," Elijah said as he examined the crayon marks on the paper like they held the answers to every question he could ever have. "She is a fine educator. I hand selected her from from a small pool reputable teachers and compelled her to start a new job in New Orleans." 

"Of course you did," Kol said, mostly to himself. Not for the first time, he found himself feeling sorry that Hope was related to his overbearing and controlling siblings.

Elijah folded the paper in half. "I have, of course, accommodated the decrease in pay with a small portion of our own fortune." He frowned. "However, it would be ideal if all of the teachers were paid their actual worth. It won't do for Hope to grow up surrounded by children undeserved in their schooling."

Kol sighed deeply.

"I'm in the works on increasing state funding for education," Elijah said, "however, with murder off the table, it's a slower process than I expected." He put the paper in in jacket pocket. He continued, with complete confidence, "I expect I shall have things fixed up by the time she's in middle school."

"We can talk about our long term goals for Hope's schooling later," Klaus said."Right now, we need to attend to the problem at hand."

"I agree," Elijah said and Kol wished Davina was back from college in California so he could make out with her instead of listening to his brothers agree with one another, "however, Janet is not the problem."

Klaus gave Elijah a sharp look. "Are you in league with her?" He reached into Elijah's jacket and pulled out the paper. "I should have known your motives were murky once you started to speak so highly of her. You and your pet humans -"

Kol could be making out with Davina. Right now. On this very couch. Or he could have moved with her to California where he could be distracting her from her homework with his very talented mouth. But instead he was listening to this. Listening to this stupid debate about homework no one in their right mind would care about ten minutes from now. Always and forever, Kol's ass.

"Enough," Elijah said. "The assignment was for Hope to draw a map of her neighborhood and she put next to no effort into it. It's unlike her." He pursed his lips together. "I shall speak with Hayley about this - I have no intention of allowing her to fall into bad study habits."

"First of all," Klaus hissed - and he was moving like an angry cat to, prowling around the room, on the hunt with nothing he could dig his teeth into, "that map was brilliant. In fact, it should replace the ones that are sold in tourist traps. In fact, I have half a mind to commission Hope to map out the entire city. Anything she makes is bound to be better than the - "

"Niklaus!" Elijah's was not happy and Kol scooted away from his general direction some so he wouldn't become collateral damage if Elijah thought Klaus would be better served with a punch to the face over discourse. "Hope is a very studious child and its unlike her to preform so poorly. There may be an underlining issue at hand."

"Or maybe she rushed through it so she could watch TV," Kol said, unable to stop himself from trying to inject common sense in the conversations, despite a long history suggesting it was a pointless endeavor on his part. Klaus and Elijah turned in unison and glared at him. Kol rolled his eyes. "Or maybe she's suffering from the trauma of being related to you two." 

"There was a My Little Pony marathon on this weekend," Elijah allowed after a moment of tense silence.

"It doesn't matter what bloody cartoon my child enjoyed," Klaus said. He held up the homework and banged his hand against it. "This is quality work that demands A+ at the very least."

"Would me pointing out that that's the highest possible grade deter you from your crazy ranting at all?" Kol asked.

Klaus ignored him. "Hope Mikaelson is a brilliant scholar and a talented artist and I won't have her talents overlooked!"

"I still need to talk to Hayley," Elijah said, sounding pained as he walked over to the stairway, "we need to have a long talk with Hope about her priorities."

"HOPE'S PRIORITIES ARE PERFECT!"

 _please come back to new orleans_ Kol texted Davina.


End file.
